A Second Chance (The Publicist, Book Four) Page 8

Mac flew into D.C. Friday morning. He hadn’t assumed she’d want him to stay with her, so he booked himself a hotel room for the weekend.

  Mac carried his garment bag, headed out of the terminal and grabbed a taxi. He sent a text to Syd:

  I’m in DC, see you in a few hours?

  A few minutes later his phone rang and before he could even say hello, Sydney interrupted him with, “You should have told me when you were arriving,”

  “It’s fine, I’m a big boy. Besides, I figured maybe we could grab a bite before the Oscars?”

  He heard Sydney laugh: “Turns out the award includes dinner with the President, the First Lady, and a few senators.”

  “Of course it does. Sydney, you amaze me. You say this like it’s not a big deal.”

  “It’s really not. I hate this kind of stuff, actually. I’m hoping you’ll keep me from running screaming from the dinner table.”

  “I’m sure I can think of something to calm you down.”

  Sydney felt her thighs heat up almost instantly. Wow, this was such a bad idea. Good, but bad. How did her life get so complicated?

  “Great, so, why don’t you come by here and I’ll leave the keys to my place downstairs. I’ll meet you there a little later.”

  “Syd, I got a hotel, I didn’t want to assume.”

  She licked her lips, of course he didn’t. She’d been pretty clear in Vermont, now she was inviting him to stay with her. Confused much?

  “Mac, it’s fine, it’s silly to get a hotel. Stay with me. I, eh, there’s a spare room.”

  “Sydney, if I stay with you, I won’t stay in the spare room. I’m fine staying at the hotel.”

  “This is silly,” yes, it truly was, “Just stay. It’s just…”

  “Confusing?”

  Sydney nodded, even though he couldn’t see her, “Very,” she told him.

  “Then let’s not make it more confusing by talking about it, I’ll see you later.”

  Chapter 26

  By the time Sydney arrived at her apartment, Mac was there and in the shower. Her timing could be better. She stood for a moment in her hallway, holding her purse, wondering if she should go say hi or just hang out like some nervous idiot in her own house, but she wanted to see him. Actually, she craved seeing him. From the moment he’d landed in D.C., she’d thought of nothing else. Finally, setting her purse down, she slipped out of her jacket and walked to her bedroom. Mac had left the bathroom door open and she could see him through the shower glass.

  Naked and wet.

  She watched him for a minute until the door slid open and he peered out.

  “I thought I heard someone. Hi Syd, you stalking me?”

  “I-I, no, I just.”

  Mac held out his hand and smiled. He wanted her in the shower. She wanted to be in the shower.

  “How much time do we have?” He smiled.

  Time.

  She wasn’t even sure, and it didn’t matter. Her body screamed for him, his arms, and his mouth. In an almost instant reflex, she started undressing, slipping out of her skirt, kicking off her shoes and letting her silk blouse fall to the floor. She could see him smiling as he watched her, and growing erect. Even at fifty, Mac had the stamina of an eighteen year old. She walked over to him and took his hand.

  “God, I’ve missed you,” he whispered and pulled her into the hot, steamy shower. He kissed her hard, pressing her up against the wet tile. She felt her whole body respond. She needed him, to feel him inside of her, making love to her. Mac’s mouth dropped to her hard nipples and sucked on them, as he did, she ran her fingers through his hair. He stepped back, took her hands and placed them on her breasts.

  “Touch yourself,” he said seductively, and she began to roll her nipples between her fingers. Softly, gently she touched her own body as he watched and smiled. Then he took two fingers and slid them inside her. She threw her head back and gasped, still playing with her nipples. In one swift movement, he picked her up and slipped her over his penis, pushing her up against the tile as the water continued to spray down on them. He held her up as he thrust himself into her, first slowly and then faster. She felt her orgasm start to overtake her body and her legs go weak. Her mind splintered in pleasure and Mac kissed her as she came and his own orgasm grew and released inside of her. He stood there for a moment, just holding her, his breath coming out hard. He wanted to say it, to tell her he loved her, but he held back. He couldn’t, not yet.

  She wasn’t ready.

  But what if she never would be?

  Chapter 27

  “You take my breath away.” Mac whispered in Sydney’s ear as the limo pulled up to the White House. She wore a shimmering long blue dress, her hair pinned up to highlight the delicate diamond earrings dangling from her ears. Sydney was the picture of elegance.

  Mac wore an Armani tuxedo and looked, well, good enough to eat. Sydney eyed him and smiled as the driver opened the door of the limousine. She was glad he was with her; there was a part of her that was still that shy girl and nights like this made her nervous. Sensing that, Mac put a hand on the small of her back and said, “It’s going to be all right.” She leaned back into his hand and felt the comfort of it there, of Mac with her, having him in her life.

  The President and the First Lady were waiting to greet them and welcome them inside.

  . . . .

  Some other members of Sydney’s group were there with their spouses, and Sydney introduced Mac around.

  Jack, one of her co-workers and someone she often went on missions with, shook Mac’s hand. “Nice to see that Sydney is finally getting a life. It’s very nice to meet you, Mac. How did you two kids meet?” Jack smiled, holding his wife’s hand.

  Mac looked at Sydney and said, “We grew up together, we just recently, eh, reconnected.”

  “That’s great. Well, I hope that you take her away from work more. No one should put in as many hours as Sydney does.”

  Mac smiled, “I’ll do my best,” He put his arm around Sydney and pulled her to him.

  “Well,” Jack said, “we should take our seats. I think they’re serving dinner first. We have preassigned tables, so I don’t know if we’ll be sitting together,” he held out his hand, “very nice to meet you, Mac, hope to see a lot more of you.”

  “Me, too.” Mac said, then turned and looked at Sydney as he walked away, “You work with some great people, Syd.”

  “I do, I’m very lucky.”

  “So am I.” Mac said into her ear, sending a sensual shiver up her spine.

  . . . .

  There were awards and speeches, with Sydney getting most of the attention. Mac could tell she was about to crawl under a table. Even now, the girl just didn’t like the spotlight. After saying their goodbyes, they slipped back into the waiting limo.

  “What an extraordinary evening.” Mac said as he sat down next to Sydney. In her hands, she held a box with a medal the President had given her.

  Sydney waited a beat and then said, “There were so many other people involved in this. I wish they could have all been honored as well.”

  Mac took her hand, “Syd, you don’t get it, do you?”

  She looked at him and blinked.

  “You are extraordinary.” He smiled and kissed her. Then leaned forward to the driver and said, “Can you stop here just for a minute?” They slowed to a stop at the Lincoln Memorial.

  “Let’s get out.” Mac opened the door and took her hand, “Come on, just a minute.”

  Sydney slid out of the car and looked around. Even at this late hour, there were people milling about, taking pictures. The memorial was particularly stunning at night and drew a lot of tourists after dark.

  “Why are we here?” She asked.

  “This,” Mac held out his hand, pointing to the memorial, “and all of this.” His arm gestured around them, to other memorials that dotted the area. “You say that you haven’t done anything extraordinary, but you have, and I think it’s time you realize the magnitude of what you hav
e done. You like to say ‘it’s just a job’,” He took a gentle hold of her arms, “I publish books, my job is just a job, but your job saves lives, Syd.”

  A bus pulled up just then, the sound of it distracting them both. The doors cranked open and a flood of teenagers trickled out. The excited sounds of their voices wafted over to them. Two teenage girls walked up, taking pictures of the memorial.

  “Isn’t this amazing,” one of them said to the other. An older man, perhaps a teacher, walked out with the kids.

  “Your parents have already been very understanding about the delays today, guys, keep it short, I have to get you back in 30 minutes!” he said as the kids spread out, snapping pictures.

  “This is so incredible,” one of the girls said to her teacher, “I can’t believe we almost lost all of this.”

  He nodded and then said: “We have a lot to be thankful for, all of the people who prevented this.” he replied.

  “Do you think they know,” the girl said, “that we appreciate it?”

  The man smiled, “I’m sure they do, but coming here and enjoying the fact that we still can, is a great way to thank them.”

  “Syd, you okay?”

  She just looked at him, her eyes were filled with overwhelm from the kids. “I am, I just. I never stopped to think…” She bit her bottom lip and then said, “Let’s get to the car.” And Mac knew he needed to get her out of there.

  Chapter 28

  By the time they got back in the car, Sydney was crying. Mac asked the driver to raise the privacy glass and he pulled Sydney to him.

  “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Mac.” Her voice was wet and heavy with emotion, “I’ve seen so much. Death, destruction, but this, tonight, I just…”

  “I think it finally hit you, the magnitude of what you did and the reason we all call you Wonder Woman.” He kissed the top of her head.

  “I still hate that term,” Her voice was shaky and she smiled softly into his shirt, listening to his heart beat. Being here with Mac felt safe in a way that she never expected to find comforting. Feeling safe wasn’t something that was ever really important to her. Even her own safety was always secondary to her work. Now though, she realized how much she missed this feeling of being with a man like this; a man like Mac.

  By the time they arrived back at Sydney’s place, Mac could tell she was exhausted.

  “Let’s sit on the couch for a while.” He offered, tugging on his tie and unbuttoning his shirt.

  “I’ll get out of this dress and join you.” Sydney changed into a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt and then curled up beside Mac on her couch.

  Safe. Warm. Loved.

  Mac wrapped his arm around her, “How are you feeling?” He asked gently.

  “Good, tired. Tonight was amazing…” she hesitated and then added, “I’m glad you were with me.”

  Mac nodded, I am, too, he thought, but he knew this was not going to last. He already wanted more, needed more.

  He was certain this would have to be their final weekend together and it was crushing him.

  “I think that senator from Atlanta wanted you.” Sydney sat up and smiled. He wanted to devour her. Mac took her hand and smiled.

  “I only have eyes for you.” Then he kissed her, a soft warm kiss. Sydney wrapped her arms around him, and in one movement he carried her off to bed.

  Chapter 29

  Mac had intended to stay the weekend, but now he wasn’t sure. He found it was always best not to prolong something that needed to end, but somehow he couldn’t bring himself to change his flight and leave sooner. Though a smarter man would.

  Maybe he’d somehow stopped being smart, or smart as he used to be. Always the upper hand, always ready to bolt, always ready to undermine his own happiness. In a matter of days, Sydney had changed that, or maybe it was a change that had been coming for a long time and she was the catalyst that finally brought him full circle.

  Saturday had been spent walking around D.C. With Sydney as his tour guide, they saw just about everything they could feasibly see in a day. It was a crisp, clear, fall day and it had been perfect, or almost so. The pending end to the weekend and whatever else loomed over Mac. While he tried not to let it distract him, he was certain Sydney noticed.

  “Where do you want to have dinner?” Mac asked. They were seated on a bench in the National Mall, which was packed with tourists, a few joggers, and locals with their dogs out for an evening walk.

  Sydney licked her lips. “Whatever you feel like, steak maybe?”

  “Some place with no politicians.” He threw her a smile.

  “You’ll have to go to Canada then, here we grow politicians on trees. I know a great steakhouse that’s a walk from here. Want to try it?”

  “A girl that eats red meat, where have you been all my life?” He looked at her and in an instant the moment turned from playful to serious and they could both feel it; it was the conversation they’d been dancing around all weekend.

  Mac stood up, trying to shake it off, “Let’s go, I’m starved.” He took her hand and they walked and talked about random, abstract things. Ignoring the conversation they knew they both needed to have.

  After dinner they took a cab back to Sydney’s apartment. This would be his last night with her, though he could stay till Monday, the likelihood of that happening was minimal. Especially after what he knew he needed to say.

  Sydney slipped the key into the lock and pushed the door open. Mac stood in the hallway, not removing his coat, and just looking at her.

  A tremor of fear wriggled through her knees. But no, it was okay, it was going to be okay.

  The tremor became a spasm. She looked at him, something twisted in her gut.

  This was goodbye, she thought, and then pushed the idea away.

  Her chest felt tight and she was having a hard time catching her breath.

  There was something wrong with her lungs.

  They had fun, and she’d been clear about what her rules were, Mac seemed okay with that. Still, something had clouded over them that day, and Sydney wasn’t sure what. Mac seemed anxious and distracted.

  “Sydney…” Mac began.

  Sydney felt the tremor grew stronger.

  “I love you.” Once out of his mouth, it felt almost like a relief, the burden of truth he’d been carrying for what seemed like forever. Yet, it was really only a week.

  Well, a week and thirty-odd years.

  She froze midway in the process of shrugging off her coat, and just stared at him.

  “I love you, and I know you were clear at the farmhouse how you felt and how it needed to be and I just...” He ran a hand through his hair, “I just know I can’t do that.” Mac walked into her living room. To buy herself some mental space, she resumed slipping off her coat and hung it in the closet.

  “You know I’ve danced this long, horrible dance, Syd. I’ve steered clear of entanglements, hell, I’m such a pro at it I could teach a class or even better, write a book,” he threw his arms in the air, “If anyone knows how to sidestep love, it’s me, and now I’m here and you’re here and I realize, as crazy as this sounds, that I never really stopped loving you.”

  Sydney swallowed, her mouth was dry, and her heart thudded in her chest. “Mac, I…”

  He held up a hand, “Let me finish, please, or I may never get the chance or the guts to say this again. You know I understand how crazy this is. We fell in love when we’re kids and didn’t see each other for decades, and then you’re back in my life and we fall into bed and it should be easy, right? I mean, look, you’re a super spy, and we have this fun fling, and it’s great, and the sex is amazing, and we should just move on. But I’ll tell you what, five years ago that would have been great by me. Hell, three years ago, before I fell in love with Kate, I would have been one hundred percent fine with that. I don’t know if it was loving her and losing her or nearly losing Carolyn to cancer, but somewhere in there I realized that I need more in my life.” Mac walked over to her
and took her hands, “I’m the worst bet any woman can make. Just ask anyone I’ve ever been with. I’ve broken their heart, so you have every right to run like hell, but I’d like to stand here and tell you I’ve changed. I want more. I want a life. I don’t want the life I had. I want to love someone and have them love me, and I want to grow old and….” Mac’s hands flew to his hips, “I sound like a woman.”

  Sydney smiled and reached for his hands, “You don’t, Mac. You sound like every woman’s dream.”

  “Every woman, except you.”

  Sydney could see the vein in his neck throbbing, his heart was beating wildly, and she had to fight the urge to kiss him and beg him to make love with her.

  “Mac, I-I, I just don’t think I’m capable of that anymore.”

  He squeezed her hands, “Don’t you even want to try?”

  “You and I have both been too disappointed, Mac. If we try this and it doesn’t work...”

  “Then it doesn’t work, Syd, but at least we gave it a shot. We gave us a shot.”

  She could feel her throat constrict, “I-I just, Mac it’s hard.”

  Mac took a deep breath, nodded and threw her a weak smile, “It’s okay, Buttercup. You can’t. It’s okay. I sort of knew that coming here, I knew it when you left the farmhouse, but I needed to try.”

  A tear slipped down her cheek, “Mac, let’s talk about this. Let’s sit down and…”

  “No, it’s fine. I need to go.” His voice was firm. Panic slid down her spine and settled into her knees. “Mac, I’m sorry. Don’t go.”

  “I’m a fool, I get it. In the past, I would never turn down a woman, especially one who looks like you, but now, things are different.” He walked past her, into the bedroom to gather his things. She didn’t follow him, though she wanted to. What was the point? He wanted it all and she didn’t have enough to give.

  She’d been used up and spit out years ago.

  A few minutes later, Mac emerged with his garment bag. Sydney hadn’t moved from where she was standing. “I’ll keep the updates coming for you on the book and we have a call next week about the promotion.” His voice was flat.